Wasted Efforts?

I wonder... is my efforts wasted if for most of the time I try to be nice... treat ppl fairly... be friendly to all.... keep a sunny disposition.... try and help them as best as I can and when the one time (maybe second time)... that I actually botch up...not without their fault but I do take responsibility over my own actions aka my temper (see the last 2 blogs to know).... then they backstab me as if I am the wicked witch of the west.... I find that just so disconcerting.... it just seems that ppl are blind to all that is good and only take note of the bad...

What kind of society are we living in?!! It is just mean, cruel and plain not nice!!!!

I got angry... but the reason I got angry was because something was not arranged properly as it should have been... and because it involves another party, I wanted to keep it as low key as possible but being that nothing was actually arranged nothing could be done... worst of all, none could tell me why the arrangements had to be switch at the last minute (without proper arrangements, I might add again)..... so I called and shouted... Yeah... and that is the only thing everyone remembers... Ai Chin shouted.... not that they didnt arrange it properly... not that the ppl who was suppose to handle the issue didnt know anything at all... not because no one could explain to me why the arrangements was switch or not done at all... none of those at all... just plain and simple.. Ai Chin shouted... making her very inmature...

It doesnt matter that they are not professional at their job but it matters that Ai Chin shouted....

Eventhough I took the effort to apologise to the people whom I shouted at... at the end of the day... or more like the whole day and the next... they were still gossiping left, right and center... I really felt hurt finding that out... that eventhough I made a mistake and apologise for it while they made a mistake and DID NOT apologise and even made it seem like it was my fault in the first place... (how can them delivering faulty part and me requesting for a replacement be my fault?!!!)... at the end of the day... my efforts to patch things up was to no avail.... :( I know the story about the fence and the nails...but there is something called putty... haha!!)

So now I ponder, was it wasted efforts to have even bothered to apologise?

Personally, I dont think so... I should not be led my other's lacking... I think that it is good that i realise my own mistake and take responsibility over it... I know it may have been better not to make the mistake in the first place but as I said... I am learning... so as part of my learning curve, I will take this as another lesson learnt on temper control... Anyone who has known me throughout my high school, university and working years would know that I have changed quite a bit and I have a better control over myself... (thank you to those who have been so patient with me... :) I truly appreciate it...)

It just hurts to know that my efforts were not even noticed....