Okay... this is going to be a long one..... haha!! well since my blog has been pretty quiet the last month, this long one will make up for it all...
This is a true story of my uncle and aunty which I feel is tooooooo extremely old fashion or just toooooo chauvanistic to even exist is such times and day....
My mother came back home one day and told me... ur cousin is getting married soon... The gf has passed all the requirements... Yeah...u read right... requirements... For the past few months, she has been tested on her cooking skills.... she works full time and has been requested to cook during the weekend for her future parents-in-law.... She wakes up uber early on weekends to go to the morning market to buy fresh produce just to cook lunch and dinner for her in-laws-to-be every weekend for the past couple of months!!! That in itself I find really a ridiculous test to be given by my uncle and aunty.... But the best has yet to come...
My mum told me that my uncle has stipulated to the gf that the girl should do ALL the housework in the house.... It is a girl's job to do the cooking and cleaning for her man and therefore she should... If she feels that she doesnt have the time to cook and clean because she has to work, then the cost of hiring the maid should be paid by her due to her inability to do so.... If they were to have kids and she cant be there to take care of them, the cost of the nanny is also onus to her...I just simply blew my top when I heard this!!!
Firstly, I understand fully where he comes from being that my aunty has always done the cooking and cleaning and the taking care of the kids... Of course this is coz my aunty doesnt work. Why doesnt my aunty work? Coz my uncle could afford for her not to work and still pay for a house, 2 cars and living expenses to the standards of my aunty (ie: no downgrade).
So, with that said, if I were the girl I would just remind my uncle that it is not her choice to work but his son's failure to be able to afford a wife, the house, 2 cars, the kids and all living expenses as per how she is accustom to... It is not her fault that the son has to live in a house that is bought for him by his dad albeit he can afford one I dont doubt that.... I just feel it is absolutely chauvanistic for my uncle to think that til this day the image of a woman has non changed... That all the cooking and cleaning is done by the wife... Well during those days, the men were man enough to be the sole bread winner... They could earn enough so that the wife dont have to work and still provide the wife with the things she likes and needs.... So kudos to those kind of men who are few and far these days.... it is not the women's fault that the men today are not as capable as today.... Although admittedly cost of living these days are not as cheap as they used to be but also because of this fact, the men nowadays need their women to work... so how in the hell can it be the girls fault for not staying at home and doing all the cooking and cleaning....? Jeez!!!
The thot that such ideas still exist just makes me see Red... I repeat again it is "your son's failure to provide"!!!!! If I was there when the conversation took place, rest assure my uncle and aunty would have a piece of my mind... And the girl would get it too for not retaliating to such absurdity... Come on... are you that desperate? Trust me, my cousin isnt that great a catch. There are plenty of fishes in the sea which doesnt come together with such parents.... It is so not worth being married into such an old fashion thinking family.. Nothing good can come out of it except your own suffering... These are the kind of ppl who think that it is the men's job to sit and do nothing while the women dot all over them...
Some men may think that I have a women empowerment thing going on but I am looking at all of this based on logic....
In the past, men has such right because they were capable enough. My family is a perfect example. My dad works and my mum is a homemaker. Throughout the years, my dad has managed to put a roof over our head, provide a car each for himself and my mum to get about town, paid for our food (which is not cheap coz we like the finer things in life), paid for our education and pay for everything else that we want and need including the luxuries which we pamper ourselves with occasionally.... With that comes certain power, my mum does all the house work and everything else and my dad just comes home from work, sits on the couch and order for his things like drinks and fruits and he gets them without lifting a finger. My dad is chauvanistic enough to not even pick up the phone even it he sits next to it... But then again, if he is able to provide for everything, with that comes certain power...
However, the men nowadays cant do that... At least most of them cant... If their women dont work, they would be on a shoe string budget... They might still be able to afford but meagerly... Small house, one car and basic food and necessities.... But if the girl grew up with a better lifestyle, why should she downgrade herself? Especially if she is more than capable to earn the money and afford her own lifestyle... So basically women who chose to work have just taken the load off the men's shoulders... With that the power that the men have over women has also decreased.... Well it should right?
So how can it be that you(men) want the best of both worlds... You want the women to work so that you lessen your burden... Share the house... share the household bills... pay for our own car... shop at our own expense... and yet you want us(women) to cook, clean, bear children and take care of them? What kind of an imaginary world do you live in? Pray tell me, why then would be need a man in our lives? No such need right? Unless the sex is so mind blowingly good... coz essentially, we can do all those by ourselves....
All in all, I am just trying to say that times have changed and so should the mindset of ppl when it comes to roles and responsibility. Things are more equal out nowadays and people should just accept the fact and not hang on to old ideals which dont work anymore... Be a bit less chauvanistic...
