Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I am so highly stressed

There is no other way to describe how I am feeling at this point except that I am highly stressed... Stressed and upset... What is worse is that there is nothing I can do to relieve it... :(
I have been placed in a situation that something under my responsibility has been idiotic enough to screw up big time but since it is my responsibilty, all fingers are still pointing back at me.
What stresses me is not the fingers being pointed but the fact that I can do nothing about it... The problem needs to be overcomed but there is no possibility of overcoming it at this point... There is just no alternative... Even if I can explain why it happened in the first place, I cant rectify the problem. Unfortunately, it is the rectification which is highly crucial at this point.
I just dont know what to do.... There is no one I can turn to... I am just stuck in this situation with no means of getting myself out.... None whatsoever...
For all the effort I have been putting into all this... it is all just not going to matter coz what will reflect in everyones mind and memory from now on is this problem and how I am unable to solve it....
I am not trying to push responsibility but it isn't my fault this problem occurs... I was just not aware coz all other parties involved did not bother to rope me in to discuss the matter nor pre-warn me... I was only informed when it was too late and now I am looked at to rescue the problem... I suppose in a sense it is my fault for not being aware but how was I to be aware when there wasnt any signs of a problem in the first place... It cant be that I spend every minute and hour of my working time monitoring each and every responsibility(this is not people) of mine down to the date and time they do everything... they are suppose to be grown adults with brains of their own.... I expect that they would be independant enough to function and yet smart enough to report a problem if there is one potentially to happen instead of wait for it to blow up in their faces and leave the pieces for me to pick up...
If the situation had a plausible solution, I would not be so stressed.... Angry but not stressed... but now there is no light at the end of the tunnel... I do hope that light will appear.....
I am praying God would create a miracle and somehow or rather something would be able to be done to solve all this.... but for now... All I can do is wait and see.... Hold my tears back... and wait... (ya...stupid habit... when I am highly stressed and angry, I cry to release... yes it is immature... yes it is childish... yes it is not professional... I am working on it... It is just a very hard habit to kick... so bear with me...)

2 comments:

mocha said...

i hope everything is ok by now.... stay strong and u can do it!

Nihcia said...

Not okay yet... :(
Still in the midst of it all..
This horror will end first week of October... :(
Between now and then no one to release stress to...